Guides and other guest stories

Gina is a beast. She is 32 and stronger than any two men I know. I watched her cover 50 yards with 5 strokes and one arm Terry out of the river into her duckie. I saw her one arm Burnside into the raft. Richard was impressed. Watch out for Gina. She's tough but motherly. She is shaping Casie into her image. Casie is only 21, and Gina has shown her waterproof mascara along with tough love. We met Gina's dad on the river, and I could see where her upper body strength came from. He was coaching duckies surfing the wave and running with a group called the Orange Torpedos. When they came out of the duckies, the guides instructions were "get back in your boat." No soft stuff with that outfit.

Cassie is a love. She's a former baseball jock, and loves her new job on the river. We didn't know till the end, but we were her first human freight. She'd spent her time rowing equipment and supply boats to earn her stripes. The first night we started exchanging information, and Gina said, "No, Casie, not till the end. You're too used to those day trips." Casie's instructions to the crew are similar to a pilates instructor. "Gimme two forward" "Now Back" "okay, relax." I was proud to be part of her crew going through the picket fences of Sunshine Rapid that have terrorized the river with deaths this summer. We did great! Okay, relax.

Brent is as hairy as he is brawny. He rowed the overweight equipment boat and set up the kitchen every night ahead of the group. He started off giving me grief, but I had him on the ropes myself a few times. Just the very idea that he might be the boy toy of a 58 year old matron made him speechless. What can a river guide say to his paying guest? Poor thing. During the off season, Brent is a football coach, making enough to break even on his gas. Someday he'll get lassoed by the right lass and have his own football team.

Dave is 55 and teaches middle school. He keeps on rowing because if he stops, he might not be able to do it any more. He had a teacher buddy on another trip who played guitar and sang and came to our camp one night. Dave had advertised that we would sing along, but the buddy's songs were five years too young and quite complicated. Do you know more than 4 words of any Neil Young song? Laura did the best of the group, being 5 years younger than most of us. Laura also has a photographic memory when it comes to song lyrics.

Don't know much about Tom. He was on vacation with his girlfriend for the most part, and he left with the first group of guests off the boat. We had some folks on a three day, some on a four day, and us, the five day group, which meant we rested in camp a whole day, a long blessed day.

At night the guides would feed us and then leave us alone. They had their own thing going. Only Avery entered into their inner sanctum. As Gina said, they had bet money that Avery would stay up late and hang with them. Once we got used to the idea that we were on our own in the evenings, it was fine with us. We did, after all, have our own group entertainment, wine to drink, baths to take, and stories to tell.

One night we did skits at the request of Cyric, the 10 year old boy who was both entertainment and irritation. His skits were pretty funny, especially the one about earthquake, tornado and fire. Cyric could be bribed to blow up air mattresses. Avery got hers done with two pieces of gum. When I got a double bed from Brent, it cost me $2 to have Cyric pump it up. Well worth it. For nothing, he would wake people who were being sleepyheads. He would deliver tea to Mary every morning without fee. He also sneaked up and tickled Terry with a piece of grass. It took her a long time to figure out what was crawling on her. I was laughing so loud the whole canyon echoed.

Cyric was with his grandma, two months younger than me, but I wouldn't believe it if I were you. I look much younger. Jan had been a teacher for 25 years, and she was full of well meaning correction, like, "it was funny the first time" and big words of the day. Histrionics was the word of the day when Cyric went crazy about yellow jackets buzzing about him while he was eating. He should talk to Jack, who swells up and can't breath if he gets stung. Apparently the secret to getting good behavior out of Cyric was chips; denial of chips at lunch was worse than death. All that said, Cyric was pretty smart. He did a series of old camera and old movie camera pantomymes with me that cracked me up.

There were two grandparents, Mike and Marilyn, with their 14 year old granddaughters on their annual summer trip. 14 is a tough age for girls. They were mostly silent. Avery opened Danica up toward the end, and Danica also showed me a bracelet weaving stitch. Both Danica and Desiree went out of the duckies in a tough rapid, and after that, they shared a duckie. Good for them for getting back in.

And then there was Amy, Oakland girl, free spirit, about the size of a 10 year old but 36 and counting. She was, of course, vegetarian, and lactose intolerant (not latex intolerant, as I once said). Poor thing. Hard to eat on the river with those two caveats. She was so little, she wore a wet suit the whole trip and still shivered for an hour after a swim or a duckie. After she leaves this trip, she's going north to backpack in the Olympic National Forest, alone. What a role model of independence. She's gone back to school, going to do it right this time, and is studying ecology.

Altogether, a great group to join our forces. Can't say I've had better luck on any river trip.