Message in a Bottle
On Tuesdays my neighbors
place secrets in their recycle bins
and I read their messages to me
on my daily walk.
Five sixpacks of Shiner Bock
(I guess the Aggies won)
Case of wine bottles
(Tom says red is good for the heart)
Eight bottles Clorox
(Passed inspection at their Donut franchise)
Pool chemicals
(Spring break staycation this year)
Huggies Newborn
(Number four, and so soon, she looks tired)
Depends size large
(Hope that they got all of Joe’s cancer)
Used Motor Oil
(If he’s so handy, why does he murder the crepe myrtles?)
Three containers Little Friskies
(I wish she’d stop feeding feral cats)
Three containers Tidy Cat
(Since she let them move in, maybe she’ll neuter them)
Bin of 1989 Vogue Magazines
(Hoarders Anonymous tip paid off)
Seven liters Caffeine Free Diet Coke
(No caffeine, no sugar, no flavor…what’s to be addicted to?)
Topped off with Gator Aide
(Stud muffin will be hitting me up for MS150)
Overflowing with Evian
(First the teardown and now water snobs too)
Large appliance box
(Don’t see the energy star rating, are they even thinking?)
Bag of paper bags
(Sue really should be using cloth)
Weed and Feed
(I’ll be drinking that stuff in our water next year)
Two household garbage bins, no recycle bin
(Doesn’t believe in global warming either)
Styrofoam peanuts
(Any idiot knows you can’t recycle these, and tomorrow they’ll be all over the street!)
Today the city delivered
big rolling recycle bins
with lids to keep the paper dry
and recycling in Sunny Valley will skyrocket
but I’ll miss my weekly bulletins.
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